The Post Divorce Family

Divorce has become endemic to the American society. Two decades ago it was relatively rare; today more than 50% of partners will choose divorce as the solution to marital dissatisfaction. As a result of divorce the U.S. Bureau of Census has created a new family form, the single-parented household. Regardless of the individual dynamics of any given family, all single-parent families experience a number of problems adjusting to this new style of life. Three major issues for these families include: finances, parenting, and social relationships.

As a single-parant you will face a multitude of personal choices. Here are some guidelines to help you on your journey. Don't denigrate your ex-partner in front of the children or otherwise. Do respond in a civil, respectful manner, the children will respect you.

Don't try to be a super-parent and do everything yourself. Do ask for help and have the courage to be imperfect. Don't interrogate your children when they return home from your ex-partner. Do create a ritual that lovingly welcomes them to your home. Don't project your resentments on your children. Do respond in a caring, compassionate,comforting manner.

Remember: change is an opportunity for growth.

John J. Zarski, Ph.D. ABPP
Staff Psychologist